Seen on Chrenkoff:
Bush’s big win in Iraq puts him in a similar position to this famous personality: “Sistani emerges winner even without taking part in Iraq vote”. Bush’s excuse for non-participation is that he’s Texan; Sistani, on the other hand is Iranian. Both are oil-rich fundamentalist states, according to the relativist left; the difference is that Texan Jews live in Dallas, and Iranian Jews live in Beverly Hills.
hehe
Is a headline, at Dennis the Peasant (who, as he points out, got linked by both Instapundit and Roger L. Simon in the very afternoon his blog began) which goes:
Aha! Now We See The Violence Inherent In The System!
If you don’t get why that’s funny, lookit “his” picture in the top right of the blog. If you still don’t get it, go here.
His Juan Cole Writes a Caption is also durned funny.
A devout Baptist couple who bought a Doris Day DVD were shocked to find a sex film instead. Still, they got their money’s worth:
Alan and Anne Leigh-Browne, from Wellington, Somerset, had been expecting to enjoy The Pajama Game.
Instead they were confronted by Italian sex film - Tettone che Passione, which translates Breasts, What a Passion.
“It was a pretty raunchy, explicit film, it certainly pulled no punches,” Mr Leigh-Browne said.
“My wife and I were very shocked but we watched it until the end because we couldn’t believe what we were seeing.”
I saw this on the FOXnews crawler this afternoon and thought to meself, eh what?
I see I had not been hallucinating.
LGF - 1/28/2005: Adopt-a-Nazi in Oregon
With pictures and simply hilarious comments by Charles Johnson. Just sayin’.
hee hee
A caller suggests that Bill Clinton sounds like Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite. The consensus among those who have seen the film is that this is spot-on.
I’m blushing.
Night had fallen over Room 487 of the Russell Senate Office Building, and there she was. She couldn’t believe it. She was the courageous, hardscrabble product of a broken home; the triumphant honors graduate of a prestigious (and patriarchal) university; the courageous, devoted single mother of two children; perhaps the most courageous progressive political activist, infighter and rising star in the country - but there she was. On the verge of defeat. Not by evil intellect or cunning or unforeseen political maneuvering - but by passion.
A mere snippet, ladies and gentlemen. Go read the rest. It’s, ah, titillating, absolutely. I wonder, however, how Bill learned to write bodice-rippers so well?
“MER… and my shaaaaadow.” Photoshop the best images from the the Mars Exploration Rovers
I like the ones posted by Malcy, neebop, dpgnome and BooRabideau.
Gosh, Tim’s busy over at the Castle today. He’s just full of great material.
Okay, do this. In the order listed. And take note of the times.
Time Blair - The Night The Soldiers Came
The man’s already got 18 trackbacks, so I’m in good company, by far. When you read it, keep in mind that he’s quoting the WaPo, not the The Seattle Stranger
Rottweiler - More Ridiculous Suggestions From the french
They just don’t know when to quit, the silly sheep-burning frogs, do they?
PARIS, France (CNN) — The French foreign minister has called for “a new trans-Atlantic relationship” between the United States and its European allies.
Oh, but we already do have a “new trans-Atlantic relationship”, little bitches.
It goes like this: The Empire says “jump” and you say “how high?”. Then, upon being informed of the desired height, you don your tu-tus and proceed bouncing up and down.
We sort of like it that way.
Can’t you just see it? The rest of it is funny, too, but that… Ahh, my sides still hurt.
Laugh! Learn something!
Chrenkoff - The inauguration blues
“Mr Hollenshead said he was not a traditional activist, but he decided to take part in the protest because ‘I’m against everything that Bush is for and I’m for everything that he’s against’.”
President Bush is against cutting off children’s ears with chainsaws. He’s also not a great fan of peeing in your soup. Oh, and he is not in favor of executing Mr Hollenshead. Over to you, Mr Hollenshead.
“Garrett Meigs, 23, of Ithaca, New York, said he came to Washington to ’show the rest of the world that many Americans are opposed to the Bush agenda’.”
Sadly, having been delayed in traffic, Garrett Meigs missed the election by two and a half months.
And this:
” ‘I can’t believe people of my generation allowed for this to happen again,’ said Kathy Liggett, 52, of Indiana, recalling the Vietnam War era. Ms Liggett, whose son is a marine stationed in Fallujah, slammed the conflict in Iraq as an ‘unjustified war’, sporting a button saying ‘Bush lied; people died’ and holding a sign reading ‘Iraq: Arabic for Vietnam’.”
Actually, Iraq is ancient Persian for Lesser Iran.
Information he gleaned from this impressive Wikpedia entry: List of country name etymologies. I love this stuff. I am such a dork.
Not so funny is this:
“A small group of Bush supporters who had entered the park, only to be shoved out by demonstrators, shouted ‘Four more years’, waving four fingers in the air as they left.”
Could this be the same incident as this?
“When the Bush supporters arrived, about 20 black-clad, self-described anarchists emerged from the crowd, shouting profanity and epithets and demanding that they leave the peace rally.
“When the Bush supporters refused to leave, the anarchists tore the sign out of the Bush supporters’ hands and stomped on them. When ProtestWarrior leader Gil Kobrin objected, several male anarchists knocked him to the ground, kicking him in the back and punching him. Other anarchists punched and shoved Kobrin’s 12 colleagues.
“After D.C. Antiwar Network members broke up the fight, the Bush supporters heeded their order to leave the park.”
Anarchist: Arabic for idiot.
Actually it’s greek, and I think it means something worse than idiot, but I’m trying to keep this page clean. (er. than what comes out of my own mouth.)
This is the Mission Page for Protest Warrior’s Operation Hail to the Chief. If they had a permit and were asked to leave, instead of the ANARCHISTS, who, traditionally, are, ah, prone to violence, we should all be pissed.
Read Lilek’s Dear John letter to Bath and Body Works yet?
It’s the funniest thing, ever. I hope they reach into their storehouses and send him whatever remaining crates they can find beneath the sun ripened raspberry and coconut lime verbena stacks. We should all strive to write that well.
Rathergate story, told in anagrams of “Little Green Footballs”
A remarkable work of literature. Read it, do.
I just have to paste this whole thing. I am SO glad he got his little online/offline thing fixed, cuz the guy cracks me up.
LOSE WEIGHT NOW - Tim Blair
The Washington Times reports:
Al Qaeda has introduced an online women’s magazine with articles including dietary advice for suicide bombers …
You’ve tried Ab Blaster! You’ve tried Thigh Blaster! You’ve tried Butt Blaster, you filthy whore! But only our Total Body Blaster can GUARANTEE you’ll lose POUNDS of unsightly limbs, eyes, bones, and internal organs … INSTANTLY!
And the best part is — you don’t have to diet at all! Simply attach the Total Body Blaster with the help of our trained body-mass reduction experts and take a brief walk, perhaps over to those Jews across the street, standing around ruling the world somehow. Then be AMAZED as your excess weight (and head) LITERALLY FLIES OFF!
Your friends won’t recognise the NEW YOU (for that, they’ll have to conduct DNA testing on brain particulate). Order NOW and receive a free copy of Rachel Corrie’s best-selling Shout Your Way to Slenderness!
Dial 1-800-FRAG. Offer void where prohibited.
hahahahahah
I highly recommend reading the whole WaPo article. Apparently the girls have to learn first aid before they can strap on their explosives laden corset. Why on earth would you need to know first aid if you’re going to blow yourself up?
NZ Pundit found a shocking picture of another one of Prince Harry’s unfortunate costume choices.
Via SoundPolitics, over at IMAO.
MYTH: Bloggers are just a bunch of ill-informed polemicists writing in their pajamas.
FACT: Not all bloggers wear pajamas while blogging. I myself wear boxers, a gun belt, and a bandolier. One of the contributors to Power Line is famous for wearing a gorilla costume while writing.
ninme swallows her coffee with difficulty, thus saving Peter’s nice LaCie monitor from Certain Ruin.
Best. Costume. Ever. at a political rally.
10. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!
hahahahahahah
Peter was slightly affronted. Too much so to laugh properly. But he thought it was funny, nonetheless. I can tell.
From Rich at Beef always wins, who got the whole list from Noble Eagle after Toni pointed it out to him.
I suppose I should mention that Peter has more than two emotions. At the moment he is playing World of Warcraft, and he seems neither hungry nor. . .the other thing.
I can’t stress enough how absolutely hilariously funny this item is.
Irony, Anyone? at Powerline.
I shan’t paste it, because it includes pictures, which would require a lot of downloading to my mother’s computer and then uploading, which I’m loathe to do without photoshop. Please. Go. Read. Laugh. Cry. Hold a loved one tight.
John Kerry presents proof of his deep connection with The People:
As Thomas left Kerry’s house in November, Kerry called out and followed him down the street. Kerry wanted to show a letter from a schoolgirl that had been left on his stoop. The letter read, in part, “John Kerry, you’re the greatest!” Kerry looked into the reporter’s eye. “The pundits have never liked me,” he said. “Is it the way I look? The way I sound?” He seemed vulnerable for a moment, then caught himself, smiled and walked home to his empty house.
Imagine this guy standing up to global terrorism.
hooohah
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