William Shatner - It Hasn’t Happened Yet
Trust me. You won’t regret it.
The lady singing backup, btw, has an amazing voice. And she’s super-cool looking.
But then, while we have iTunes open, some other videos Peter sent me. First:
Not really my cup of tea, but pretty cool. And (!):
Kings of Convenience - I’d Rather Dance With You
A great video. The straight man is lovely. Truly lovely. sigh
Update:
Tell me he doesn’t look like Olga.
Howard Dean will next month visit Australia. And you know something? You know something? Not only is he going to Noosa Heads, he’s going to Andamooka and Werribee and the Bungle Bungles and Shepparton and Yass! He’s going to Camperdown and Kiama and Naracoorte! And he’s going to Wallaroo and Tennant Creek and Ulla Dulla and Albury! And then he’s going to Canberra. To take back Parliament House! YEEEAAARGH!!
The funniest thing I’ve ever run into on a blog in all these months still has to be from Tim’s Quotes of 2004 round up, January:
And you know something? You know something? Not only are we going to Kabul, we’re going to Kandahar and Bamiyan and Hindukush and Peshawar and Kashmir! We’re going to Fallujah and Tikrit and Baghdad! And we’re going to Timor and Chechnya and Yemen and Andalusia! And then we’re going to the Land of the Two Holy Places. To take back Mecca! Alllllaaaahu Akbar!
Hahahah
Why is making John Stewart crack up on his own show really funny?
Because you get to see his thinning spot!
This is great, great television. Comedy Central - Daily Show on CNN
Curtsy: PoliPundit.
This is hilarious!
Telegraph - School liver was an early lesson in life, By Boris Johnson
Did I say every day? Well, the truth is that there was one menu that I found a bit of a trial. There was one distinctive pre-prandial smell, which, when it wafted through the school, used to make me whimper with dread. It was liver. When I say liver, I don’t mean the kind of liver you get in restaurants these days, pink and tender and derived exclusively from contented calves, and swaddled in bacon and onions. I don’t know what manner of cows supplied the livers to state schools in London in the early 1970s, but they must have been very old and suffering from advanced alcoholism. (hahaha!) These livers had the texture (and something of the aroma) of an old Green Flash gym shoe. They were knobbly with cysts and evidence of bovine cirrhosis, which no doubt explained the mortality of the cow. And they were green.
Oh man, read the rest. It’s disgusting, but funny as heck. Oh god I just realized when I saw this:
Boris Johnson is MP for Henley and editor of The Spectator
He’s the one that wrote about the Saskatoon Berry, which I read out loud at a dinner party at home, to much hilarity and many interjections by my mother, explaining in great detail what he was talking about after every phrase.
Very funny! And so bloody right, more’s the pity.
Blame Bush - Stephen Hawking on the Run
British physicist Stephen Hawking has become a Fugitive from Mercy, having escaped through a wormhole as doctors surrounded his Cambridge home. Physicians were summoned Monday evening when his wife remembered that a few years ago, Hawking had asked to be shoved down a flight of stairs if the battery on his electric wheelchair ever ran out. Of course, he denies it in that goofy robot voice of his…but Teresa Heinz-Kerry will tell you that computers can be hacked.
Hawking has suffered from a degenerative muscular disease for 40 agonizing years, and he’s never seen a single episode of Queer Eye. It’s time to let him go. He led a long, productive life, but now he deserves to Die with Dignity, whether he likes it or not.
Raise your hand if you read A Brief History of Time.
It’s hilarious, but it’s not really funny, is it.
Raises hand. About the third time I read it, I almost understood it, too…
I have such smart friends!
I bought it just for the fold-out Alyssa Milano poster.
That must’ve been the The Updated and Expanded Tenth Anniversary Edition.
Chrenkoff is funny today. As only Chrenkoff can be when talking about a new head of the World Bank. Who woulda thunk this stuff could be funny?
I especially liked this line:
“The Attack of a 50-foot Jew”, screening soon at the Ramallah Multiplex.
This is so freaking funny:
“Doop doop doop. Nobody saw nuffin’.”
Curtsy: Bubblehead, who’s showcasing other links sent to him by wonderful, alert, and intelligent readers.
ninme preens
Tim Blair - EUROPE: LIKE CIVILISATION, EXCEPT WITH MIRROR BALLS
This is the funniest thing…
“Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?”
Via A.E. Brain - Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
Ooh, I like this bumper sticker:
“Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscripti catapultas habebunt”
haha
Chrenkoff, on Guiliana Sgrena, and conflicting speed reports:
Having lived in Italy, I’m skeptical about any assurances which start with “We weren’t speeding, really…”
hahahaha
Then he posts a complete translation yesterday’s Funniest Item of the Day. Man, he’s just hilarious today!
Curtsies and bows and scrapes to LGF for this little gem:
Zacht Ei - About Giuliana Sgrena
Mr. Harald Doornbos is a veteran war reporter. He is no archetypical hawk nor a staunch supporter of the United States. In fact, he used to be a reporter for the communist newspaper ‘De Waarheid’ (The Truth, or Pravda, if you like) before it went bust. (This doesn’t necessarily mean he was ever a communist, by the way. De Waarheid used to be a huge employer.)
However, this doesn’t make him overly sympathetic towards Giuliana Sgrena, the Italian journalist who was held hostage by Iraqi insurgents. Some snippets from this article which was published today in a Dutch Christian broadsheet.
‘Be careful not to get kidnapped,’ I told the female Italian journalist sitting next to me in the small plane that was headed for Baghdad. ‘Oh no,’ she said. ‘That won’t happen. We are siding with the oppressed Iraqi people. No Iraqi would kidnap us.’
It doesn’t sound very nice to be critical of a fellow reporter. But Sgrena’s attitude is a disgrace for journalism. Or didn’t she tell me back in the plane that ‘common journalists such as yourself’ simply do not support the Iraqi people? ‘The Americans are the biggest enemies of mankind,’ the three women behind me had told me, for Sgrena travelled to Iraq with two Italian colleagues who hated the Americans as well.
(Doornbos goes on to explain how the women demeaned him for travelling as an embedded reporter with the US military, for security reasons. They didn’t want to hear about any safety concerns.)
‘You don’t understand the situation. We are anti-imperialists, anti-capitalists, communists,’ they said. The Iraqis only kidnap American sympathizers, the enemies of the Americans have nothing to fear.
(Doornbos tells them they’re out of their mind.)
But they knew better. When we arrived at Baghdad Airport, I was waiting for a jeep from the American army to come pick me up. I saw one of the Italian women walking around crying. An Iraqi had stolen her computer and television equipment. They were standing outside shivering, waiting for a cab to take them to Baghdad.
With her bias Sgrena did not only jeopardize herself, but due to her behavior a security officer is now dead, and the Italian government (prime minister Berlusconi included) has had to spend millions of euros to save her life. It is to be hoped that Sgrena will decide to have a career change. Propagandist or MP perhaps. But she should give up journalism immediately.
I know I shouldn’t laugh, because a man is dead, and the bad guys have a minimum of $6 mil to spend at IED R’ Us this weekend, but hearing about her idiotic and unrealistic and idealistic and silly and childish arrival at the airport is rather gratifying. I love how they think Bush is simplistic, and yet they expect to wander around the world (outside Rome with its piazzas and espresso stands) being nice to the bad guys who will be nice to them in return, and being nasty to the good guys, who will leave them alone because they’re good. Stupid twit.
Classic — Kind of blows away the “all the world but America is a peace-loving paradise” theory so prevalent among the ultra-sophisticated Euroleft. Of course, they’d answer that American interference is what has caused these poor oppressed people to sink to such a low state…
Via Tim Blair, we are alerted to the Sun’s latest positive reinforcement of prison inmates improving their community:
Was it a right Hook? by Neil Syson
HOOK-HANDED Abu Hamza has been viciously attacked by a fellow jail inmate, it emerged last night.
The fanatical Muslim cleric, 47, was thumped inside London’s top-security Belmarsh prison, a jail source said.
DID you whack Hook? If so call The Sun on 020 7782 4105. And by the way, WELL DONE!
I can’t wait for the photo on the cover tomorrow of a grinning lad, about 20, a few tattoos, holding a copy of today’s Sun, maybe flexing his arm, or demonstrating his right hook.
How’s that extradition coming along, I wonder? Quothe the Times, May 2004:
ABU HAMZA could be extradited to the United States within four months under a “fast track” Anglo-American extradition treaty that came into force at the start of this year.
That so?
Poor Bill needs a remote control pouch. It’s for his own good.
A Citizen of Mosul - Men Rules
The seventh #1 is my favourite, I think. The second to last one is hilarious.
Curtsy: Aunt Najma
Michelle Malkin - AT LEAST WE CAN KEEP UNDOCUMENTED COWS OUT
Now now, Michelle. Those are Canadian cows. Canadians are notorious for their law-abiding, obedient nature. To illustrate:
Q. How do you get a dozen Canadians to jump into a swimming pool?
A. Say please.
April 1st, 2005 at 11:49 pm
Alas, there’s no iTunes player for Win98, so the first file will remain a mystery for now.