ninme

Bubblehead passed this on to me. So I take up the torch.

Following there is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you).

Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three fine bloggers.

Here’s that list:
If I could be a scientist…
If I could be a farmer…
If I could be a musician…
If I could be a doctor…
If I could be a painter…
If I could be a gardener…
If I could be a missionary…
If I could be a chef…
If I could be an architect…
If I could be a linguist…
If I could be a psychologist…
If I could be a librarian…
If I could be an athlete…
If I could be a lawyer…
If I could be an innkeeper…
If I could be a professor…
If I could be a writer…
If I could be a backup dancer…
If I could be a llama-rider…
If I could be a bonnie pirate…
If I could be a midget stripper…
If I could be a proctologist…
If I could be a TV-Chat Show host…

So, here goes:

If I could be a farmer, I wouldn’t be profitable, but I’d raise a very few scottish blackface sheep and have a corgi or two chase them around and I’d ride horses every day.
If I could be a missionary, I’d bring big bags of fertilizer with me.
If I could be an architect, I’d start a French Colonial and Regency revival.
If I could be a psychologist, I’d tell my patients to grow up and then I’d go broke.
If I could be a librarian, I’d kill the people putting their books back one slot away from the proper one (Braun, Braun, Brown, Braun, augh!).
If I could be an athlete, I’d be amazed.
If I could be a backup dancer, I’d trip Britney on purpose.
If I could be a proctologist, I’d learn how to golf.
If I could be a TV Chat Show host, I’d tell the publicists to jump in a lake, and their clients that nobody cares.

Nine. More than five, but less than all of them. I’m too cowardly and insecure to pass them on to bloggers, so I’ll pass it on to people I’d really like to hear from but won’t be insulted if I never do:

Mark Steyn, Laura Bush, and Benedict XVI.