Stinky
A good point made:
Opinion Journal - Best of the Web Today: This Stinks
“A former top-ranked radio host, who claims she was sickened by a colleague’s use of a perfume described as ‘romantic, sensual, emotional,’ won $10.6 million in a federal court lawsuit Monday,” the Detroit News reports…
One morning some years back we were boarding a New York subway car were astonished to find that it was half empty during rush hour. An optimist would say it was half full, but only if he had a clothespin over his nose, for it turned out the reason the car was depopulated was that a sleeping bum was sprawled out across several seats sleeping. Without going into any detail, suffice it to say that his body odor was one of the worst smells we have ever encountered.
Worse yet, there were two cops riding on the car. We approached them and asked them to do something about the problem, and they replied that there was nothing they could do: The bum wasn’t violating any laws, and he had the “right” to be on the subway. If only he’d been wearing perfume, we’d be a millionaire today.
Ah, stinky bums on the subway. I’ve been in exactly that situation a couple times, once in particular, on the Philly L. A nice big space right next to the doors, people get on and think, “What luck! A packed train and there’s all this space right here! Ah hah!” You can see it play out on their faces. Then the doors close, one, two, three, the nose twitches, and they’re booking it for the sardine-like-conditions of the end of the car, opposite from the man with Pig Pen’s stink lines visible through the stench. Next stop, doors open, people get on and think, “What luck!” Etc.
May 27th, 2005 at 8:52 pm
The funniest book of all time ever written: “Three men in a boat” by Jerome K. Jerome has a similar scene where one of the characters is transporting his cheese back home on the train. The book was written over a hundred years ago, so this sort of thing has been going on for quite a while.
Perhaps there is an opening for a new line of air freshener to be sold in the railway candy machines?
May 28th, 2005 at 9:11 am
Nah, stank sensors on the turnstiles. If the light flashes red with a lot of loud “waaah waaaah” siren noises, a big ol’ hose opens up over the offender, and down comes delousing powder, hot water, stiff shampoo, and a little laundry detergent too, perhaps.
And besides, we’re Americans. We’re not intelligent or trustworthy enough to be allowed candy machines in our railways. Have you ever been on the Hamburg subway? The baked goods and chocolates they practically throw at you…
Sigh.