ninme

Two bad jokes in one day.

Infinitives Unsplit - Snigger

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, you’re a poo.

Arthur’s Seat - Thought for the Day

A bear, a lion and a chicken meet.
Bear says: “If I roar in the forests of America the entire forest is shivering with fear.”
Lion says: “And if I roar on the great plains of Africa, the entire savannah is afraid of me.”
Says the chicken: “Big deal. I only have to cough, and the entire planet wets itself.”

Evidence that this something in the water was placed there by terrorists moving east:

Wheat & Weeds (Sunday) - At Random

My 5-yr-old asks: “Mom, what is the nuts’ favorite hymn?”
“Don’t know, Buddy, what is a nut’s favorite hymn?”
“Peanut afraid.”

Obviously they struck the DC cosmopolitan area first! London must be next!

Two items on the, ah, life in religion:

The Telegraph - Challenging the Church

Five times in the last 2,000 years the Church has to all appearances gone to the dogs,” wrote GK Chesterton. “In each case it was the dogs that died.”

He was writing about the Catholic Church, as it happens, but the same can be said of Christianity in general, and in England, too. New figures show that Christian faith in these islands is tenacious of life.

Well, but anyway, the most interesting one:

PigBoatSailor - Vatican to Islam: ‹^›‹(ò¿ó)›‹^›

I had posts on a very interesting statement from the Anglican church in Nigeria, including:

May we at this stage remind our Muslim brothers that they do not have the monopoly of violence in this nation. Nigeria belongs to all of us – Christians, Muslims and members of other faiths. No amount of intimidation can Change this time-honoured arrangement in this nation. C.A.N. may no longer be able to contain our restive youths should this ugly trend continue.

And the violence that quickly followed:

Christian youths burned the corpses of Muslims on Thursday on the streets of Onitsha in southeastern Nigeria, the city worst hit by religious riots that have killed at least 146 people across the country in five days.

But then PigBoatSailor finds this:

Following this outbreak, Reuters reported that Pope Benedict “signaled his concern on Monday when he told the new Moroccan ambassador to the Vatican that peace can only be assured by “respect for the religious convictions and practices of others, in a reciprocal way in all societies.” ” Additionally, other Vatican leaders expanded on the Pope’s message by saying, “If we tell our people they have no right to offend, we have to tell the others they have no right to destroy us,” [Vatican Secretary of State], and also, “The West has had relations with the Arab countries for half a century, mostly for oil, and has not been able to get the slightest concession on human rights,” and “Enough now with this turning the other cheek! It’s our duty to protect ourselves.” [Secretary of the Vatican Supreme Court]

Go ahead, read that last part again. Enough turning the other cheek. Says a Vatican official. Yikes.

Emphases his.

So a clash of cultures moves one step closer, and both the Anglican and Catholic Churches have come firmly down against appeasement. No wonder this was splashed all over the headlines. Oh wait…

Seriously.

Telegraph - A papal shot across Beijing’s bows

Joseph Ratzinger surprised us by the receptive, pastoral face he presented to the world once he had moved from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith to the papal throne. He disarmed his liberal critics by the publication in January of Deus Caritas Est, his first encyclical as Benedict XVI. And yesterday he fired a shot across China’s bows by naming Bishop Joseph Zen of Hong Kong, a Salesian, among the first batch of cardinals he will create next month.

Peter went to a Salesian high school. Or one named after the order. There’s no point there, I just needed something to break up the quote so I didn’t have to use an ellipses.

The creation of Bishop Zen as cardinal cuts right across these expectations. For, although he is not an opponent of dialogue, he has been outspoken in his defence of Hong Kong’s autonomy against the encroachments of the mainland.

This was most apparent when Beijing tried to impose an anti-subversion law on the Special Administrative Region shortly after he became Bishop of Hong Kong in 2002. He has also defended the underground church in China, persecuted under a system that he described as evil in an interview with this newspaper in 2003.

In the four years since he succeeded Cardinal John Baptist Wu, who was appointed before the transfer of sovereignty, he has become Hong Kong’s conscience.

The new pontiff has put at risk the thaw in relations with Beijing by announcing the forthcoming elevation of this outstanding priest to the cardinalate. By the end of next month, the consistory will have two ethnic Chinese representatives, Bishop Zen and Paul Shan, the Jesuit Bishop of Kaohsiung in Taiwan, who was created cardinal in 1998.

The choice will hardly please Beijing but the Pope has rightly decided that the Church’s mission should not be sacrificed to a dialogue whose successful conclusion is far from sure, particularly as far as a Vatican say in the appointment of Chinese bishops is concerned. Hong Kong can take renewed pride in its courageous pastor. And Benedict’s stature has been enhanced.

Rah rah rah!

Anglican Communion News Service - Reaction of the President of the Christian Association of Nigeria, The Most Revd Peter Akinola on recent events in Nigeria

Having watched with sadness and dismay the recent development in some States in the Northern part of this Country where many Christian Churches and other property have been wantonly destroyed by some Islamic fundamentalists, the Christian Association of Nigeria is compelled to issue the following statements:

• From all indications, it is very clear now that the sacrifices of the Christians in this country for peaceful co-existence with people of other faiths has been sadly misunderstood to be weakness

• We have for a long time now watched helplessly the killing, maiming and destruction of Christians and their property by Muslim fanatics and fundamentalists at the slightest or no provocation at all. We are not unaware of the fact that these religious extremists have the full backup and support of some influential Muslims who are yet to appreciate the value of peaceful co-existence.

• That an incident in far away Denmark which does not claim to be representing Christianity could elicit such an unfortunate reaction here in Nigeria, leading to the destruction of Christian Churches, is not only embarrassing, but also disturbing and unfortunate.

• It is no longer a hidden fact that a long standing agenda to make this Nigeria an Islamic nation is being surreptitiously pursued. The willingness of Muslim Youth to descend with violence on the innocent Christians from time to time is from all intents and purposes a design to actualize their dream.

• It is sad to note that all acts of hostility meted against Christians by Muslims in the past have remained unaddressed with nobody paying compensations or the culprits brought to justice. …

• May we at this stage remind our Muslim brothers that they do not have the monopoly of violence in this nation. Nigeria belongs to all of us – Christians, Muslims and members of other faiths. No amount of intimidation can Change this time-honoured arrangement in this nation. C.A.N. may no longer be able to contain our restive youths should this ugly trend continue.

(I think that one’s a threat. An honest-to-God threat. From the Anglicans.)

• We now demand that further destruction of Christian Churches and property in this nation be permanently put to an end.

• All levels of Government in this country should take adequate steps to protect the lives and property of Christians everywhere in this land as no further destructions will be tolerated or ignored.

• The Federal Government and those States where Christian Churches have been destroyed are hereby urged to take urgent steps at rebuilding those structures and paying adequate compensation while assuring Christians of adequate protection in this country. …going beyond mere promises of rebuilding destroyed Churches and property as in the past to actual reconstruction…

Signed

Most Revd. Peter J. Akinola (CON, DD.)
President, Christian Association of Nigeria