ninme

The Sunday Times - Blubbering hypocrites, by Rod Liddle

So far as I can gather, the only reason why the Japanese want to set sail with their harpoons is that they hate whales.

Tsutomu Takebe, the country’s agriculture minister, gave an insight into Japan’s peculiar cetaphobia. “You may not know,” he advised ignorant westerners, “but whales eat more than three to five times the amount of maritime resources that humans do. That comes to 300m to 450m tons of fish. On earth there are 800m people who are undernourished.”

There is more stuff like this on the Japanese whaling industry’s website. Whales are a bit thick, it suggests: “They betray little evidence of behavioural complexity beyond that of a herd of cows or deer.” But also devious. And there are loads of them, more than we could ever possibly want, and they breed like aquatic rabbits. Always at it, whales. Quite disgusting. Reading through the whalist diatribe one half expects warnings about a sinister world conspiracy of whales and Freemasons, a sort of The Protocols of Moby Dick.

(Hehehehe)

However, nor is much of the opposition to the Japanese bloodlust ennobling. There is a worldwide petition doing the rounds which suggests that a mere boycott of Japanese goods might not be sufficiently punitive. “You f****** Japs better stop killin’ whales or we’ll nuke yur dumb asses again,” one signatory warns, giving the general flavour.

Indeed, an aversion to all slitty-eyed people, with their unconscionable diets of oven-roast puppy dogs, kitten satay and whale burgers, and their penchant for shame, pornography and violent acts of suicide, informs the debate at even some of the higher levels.

(Hahahaha)

Oh man. Who knew that whaling could be so entertaining.