So, summer’s approaching. You’re feeling pretty good, but, well, since the weather is changing you feel you might need to prepare for what’s coming. You’ve never done this before, and you’ve always gotten through summers before, but they’re telling you about Climate Change and tanned trend-setter footballers’ wives. So you go out and buy some self-tanning lotion. You apply it, you wait, and oh lordy you look like crap. You’re streaky and orange and what’s worse, you’re even less prepared for the summer conditions than you were before. You couldn’t possibly compete in beach conditions looking like this! So you sit back and ponder for a while. Ah hah! You say. I know what I’ll do! I’ll scrub this stuff off, and then I’ll go out and buy a different self-tanning lotion!

Telegraph - Cameron calls for British Bill of Rights: Tory leader announces plans to replace Human Rights Act with new document.