ninme

The Times - Mother-in-law made to pay £35,000 for inflicting four wretched months

A WOMAN who endured what a judge described as “four months of hell” living with her domineering mother-in-law was awarded £35,000 damages in a landmark case yesterday.

Gina Singh, 26, told a court that she was bullied, isolated and became seriously ill after entering into an arranged Sikh marriage. Ms Singh, from Nottingham, sued her former mother-in-law, Dalbir Kaur Bhakar, who imposed a 17-hour daily regime of housework, forced her to bleach her skin and cut her hair and severely restricted contact with her family.

She was forbidden to leave the house alone and was not allowed to listen to the radio, read newspapers or watch television. Her isolation was such that when she fled the marital home in March 2003 Ms Singh knew nothing about the imminent invasion of Iraq. …

Ms Singh, speaking outside court, said: “I look back and I can’t understand how I survived those four months being treated like a slave.” Her case is believed to be the first time that someone has sued their mother-in-law under the 1997 Harassment Act, which was intended to deal with stalkers. The ruling could set a precedent for further claims by women living in unhappy arranged or forced marriages.

Woo hoo!

Mrs Bhakar attempted to exhaust and humiliate her daughter-in-law, requiring her to clean toilets without a brush and clean the floor without a mop. Her hands became infected. Ms Singh’s visits home were restricted and she was not allowed to attend her uncle’s funeral or make regular visits to the Sikh temple. Her mobile phone was confiscated and she was allowed to make and receive only one closely monitored call a week to her family.

The court heard that Ms Singh was distressed by being coerced into having her hair cut, because she considered it an important religious duty never to cut her hair. Ms Singh said that she was deeply hurt and felt degraded.

Ms Singh’s father came to collect her from the Bhakars’ home on March 2, 2003, after receiving a call from his distressed daughter. She suffered bouts of depression for months.

The Bhakar family denied Ms Singh’s allegations but the judge found that Mrs Bhakar’s evidence, given through an interpreter, was “riddled with untruth and evasion”. He said that a possible explanation for her behaviour was the need to assert her dominance. She was brought up in India and, despite living in England for 30 years, spoke little English. She may have felt threatened by a daughter-in-law who spoke English as a first language.

It’s a bit unlike me, but I hope her husband takes a cane to her. If not for his daughter-in-law, I’m sure the £35k he’ll lose won’t go over well.

Fun facts:

FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE

• Dr Muhammad Abdul Bari, secretary-general of the Muslim Council of Britain, said last month that arranged marriages were a good idea: “These are not forced on children but it is a way of parents helping to guide their children to make the right choices. In youth, you are very emotional; you just go on instinct. Elders can look at compatibility, background, intentions. It is a wonderful system”
• Arranged marriages remain most common in the Indian and Pakistani communities in Britain. They are practised by Hindu, Muslim, Sikh and Orthodox Jewish people
• There is an important distinction between arranged and forced marriages. The Foreign & Commonwealth Office has a forced marriage bureau, which deals with 250 cases per year of British girls, some as young as 13, being forced to go abroad to marry
• Ministers recently dropped plans to outlaw forced marriages despite the concerns of police about domestic violence and so-called honour killings
• In 2000 Bobita Verma, an Asian woman from Bradford, successfully sued her in-laws for the return of a £26,000 dowry after an arranged marriage that lasted 70 days