The Wisdom of Henry Woodhouse
I REMEMBER vividly the first time I offended an American. I was living in New York at the time and feeling a bit homesick, so I dragged the US citizen in question to an expat fish’n’chip shop in Greenwich Village. There, I ordered the homesick Northerner special: a chip butty, smothered in a thick curry sauce — just like the butties I used to inhale at the bus stop in Alnwick on a school night. My friend thought this was all very cute and, like, totally British, until she realised exactly what I was eating. “You put the French fries . . . in a bread roll?” she asked, her throat tightening. “And then you pour Indian sauce all over it?”
Through molten, brownish-green mouthfuls, I mumbled something about the Queen.
I quote that only because I find it hilarious. The main point though:
It is, therefore, with a happy (but not necessarily healthy) heart that I bring you news of a breakthrough. Yes, carbs are back. A nutritionist from New Zealand has found that feasting on potatoes, rice and white bread at bedtime does not necessarily make you put on weight. Meanwhile, the US Department of Agriculture has tweaked its food pyramid to allow 9oz of various grains per day (and 3.5oz of veggies, which can include white potatoes). What’s more, the return of the carb has been trumpeted on this season’s trend-setting television show, Ugly Betty. Bread consumption, which suffered a 7.5 per cent decline between 1997 and 2003, is already on the rise.
Jane Austen fans will remember Mr Woodhouse enjoining his progeny and friends to partake of a little thin gruel before bedtime, “perfectly sensible of its being exceedingly wholesome.”
October 24th, 2006 at 2:18 pm
I never eat too near to bedtime, it ruins my late night appetite.
My favorites at 2 a.m. (assumming I’ve slept a bit)
Pizza (double cheese mushroom and pepperoni, room temp) Thin sliced corned beef cold roast beef, any width Orange Sherbet Lime Sherbet
October 24th, 2006 at 3:19 pm
Ew sleepy ice cream? That’s like rolling out of bed for a lollypop.
October 25th, 2006 at 4:00 am
Chip Buttys are big here too, although we have them with gravy rather than curry sauce. Hmmmm. Carbolicious.
October 25th, 2006 at 5:28 am
If you’ve seen the way people look in Alnwick you’ll know that they have certain long-term effects. My neice the dietician works in that neck of the woods and is appalles at what people have done to themselves on the carbolicious diet. Though in fairness the chip butty isn’t the worst. Anyone ever had a bread and sugar sandwich?
October 25th, 2006 at 8:03 am
Anyone ever had a bread and sugar sandwich? Yep, with butter to keep it together.
October 25th, 2006 at 9:27 am
Uh, it’s called cinnamon toast. It’s delicious!
I run across a lot of butties in books and things, but I’ve never really been able to figure out what they are.
October 26th, 2006 at 3:31 am
The bacon butty is the delicacy that always converts vegetarians to omnivores.
October 26th, 2006 at 9:19 am
Yeah that’s the main one. So… what is it?
October 26th, 2006 at 9:26 am
It’s a standard breakfast roll with two rashers of proper bacon fried or grilled with mustard or (urgh) ketchup to taste. Butter optional. Tastes delicious, but it’s the aroma that kills the veggies.
October 26th, 2006 at 9:51 am
But the aroma is just the bacon.
How could butter be optional if it’s called a “butty”?