Absolutely the Funniest Item of the Day CCXLVI
Depict - How to Tell When a Relationship is Over
SFW (though it is a holiday weekend).
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Absolutely the Funniest Item of the Day CCXLV
Sure, 10 minutes to 5 am may seem a bit early to be deciding what is today’s funniest item, but hey, it’s funny:
The Daily Telegraph - I was a happy little Vegemite. By Tim Blair
I won’t bother trying to condense it into a quote. Just read the whole thing.
One Response to “Absolutely the Funniest Item of the Day CCXLV”
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Absolutely the Funniest Item of the Day CCXLIII
David Zucker again. It’s not perfect, but man it’s got its moments.
SFW. Unless you work with the humorless and easily offended. Liberals, in other words.
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Absolutely the Funniest Item of the Day CCXLII
In other news, body of famed Union General discovered in Grant’s Tomb. Authorities baffled.
12 Responses to “Absolutely the Funniest Item of the Day CCXLII”
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HalfEmpty Says:
December 13th, 2006 at 2:05 pmWorries me that they lost him. Reminds me of certain cut-rate stab ‘em and slab ‘em joints in South Florida.
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Brett_McS Says:
December 14th, 2006 at 12:37 amEngland are doing well in the cricket and you don’t have a post!
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Rueful Red Says:
December 14th, 2006 at 1:36 amI dunno, England have to bat yet. 244 could be a could score. Wonder when was the last time an England finger spinner took a five-for in the first innings of a test in Australia?
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Rueful Red Says:
December 14th, 2006 at 1:55 amAt least we’ve saved the follow-on.
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Brett_McS Says:
December 14th, 2006 at 3:33 amEngland have a pretty good record at the WACA. Apparently it takes a bit of getting used to, especially for Poms, because the air is so clear that it confuses the normal distance cue and things seem to be a lot closer, so fielders initially throw short.
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Rueful Red Says:
December 14th, 2006 at 3:37 amInteresting that, though I can quite believe it from trying to judge distances out in the islands. Particularly difficult if you’re used to playing in urban settings like London or Birmingham. I threw short without defective cues anyway - as a first slipper I really didn’t enjoy my trips out to the paddock.
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ninme Says:
December 14th, 2006 at 9:23 amThat first comment of Half’s just cracked me up last night. And it’s a very valid point! They built a church over him. How could they have lost him?! But then, we all know what construction sites are like…
I thought the cricket didn’t start till this afternoon? But Perth time instead of East Coast time?
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RC2 Says:
December 14th, 2006 at 11:56 amSeven comments? I says to myself. They’re not mocking St. Paul’s remains are they? That wouldn’t be cricket…oh.
I’m getting it from all sides now, as I’m just finishing up the last Aubrey-Maturin novel, and there’s always some peg leg on the square leg there too.
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ninme Says:
December 14th, 2006 at 5:21 pmThere’s an Aussie/Kiwi pub up the highway from here (did Brett leave a link to it once, maybe?) that has a big sign “Watch the Ashes Here!” on its marquee.
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Brett_McS Says:
December 14th, 2006 at 5:33 pmYes, the Aussie & Kiwi pub in Seattle. The picture on their website has a Mini outside the front, so I thought you may have been doing some background research.
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ninme Says:
December 14th, 2006 at 5:53 pmOh that’s right, I remember now.
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Rueful Red Says:
December 15th, 2006 at 4:31 amNow I really must visit St Paul’s Without the Walls next time I’m in Rome. That name always used to get a giggle at school. We have visions of a sort of divinely designed marquee.
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Absolutely the Funniest Item of the Day CCXLI
Reader HalfEmpty sent this to me:
Frank Sinatra - Strangers on my Flight
SFW, unless your coworkers have an ear finely attuned to discrepancies in Old Blue Eyes’ lyrics and are a teensy bit too touchy. And if you’re at work, if you don’t have any audio, for heaven sakes don’t even click on the link until you get home to some speakers.
3 Responses to “Absolutely the Funniest Item of the Day CCXLI”
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Rueful Red Says:
December 11th, 2006 at 1:02 amJust bought the Sinatra Christmas album. Again. Don’t care what format they bring it out in next, I’m staying with CDs.
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HalfEmpty Says:
December 11th, 2006 at 2:50 amStick-in-the-mud Luddite. I’m having it beamed into my prefrontal lobe prefrontal lobe prefrontal lobe prefrontal lobe prefrontal lobe prefrontal lobe prefrontal lobe prefrontal lobe prefrontal lobe prefrontal lobe prefrontal lobe get the ice-pick Niles he’s skipping
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Rueful Red Says:
December 11th, 2006 at 4:30 amSo be good, be good, be good, be good, be good, be good, be good, be good, be good, For goodness’ sake!
Still like that Goodman arrangement though!
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Absolutely the Funniest Item of the Day CCXL
I shouldn’t be laughing, I really shouldn’t be laughing. It’s serious damnit. But I’m laughing.
The Times - Ooh-la-la! Ici les headlines. Notebook by Joe Joseph
Last night (“hier soir”) France (“La Fronns”) launched a 24-hour bilingual news channel (“une manche de nouvelles autour-le-clock”) to counter what it sees as the current Anglo-Saxon bias of the traditional international TV news channels, such as CNN and BBC World.
Why? Because France (“la Fronns”) realised that what the world most needed in these troubled times of war (“la guerre”), economic uncertainty (“vous demandez combien pour cette voiture avec une derrière comme ça de Jennifer Lopez? Etes-vous fou comme un chien?”), and global warming (“ooh-la-la, il fait chaud!”) was a 24-hour news channel delivered from the unique perspective of a country that still relies, for its primary source of medical care, on suppositories (“ooh-la-la! Ca chose-là produit beaucoup de l’eau dans mes yeux, Monsieur le Médecin. Et aussi vous m’avez donné une derrière comme ça de Jennifer Lopez!”).
Since, alongside the news , the new state-funded France 24 channel sees itself as an ambassador for the French “art de vivre” (French for “way of life”) and for its “savoir faire” (“rural snail-tasting festivals”), the channel launched at 7.29 GMT yesterday evening — presumably in order to allow staff and viewers to first knock back a couple of reviving Pernods after their return from the traditional Gallic post-work/pre-dinner bout of hanky-panky (“mouchoir-pouchoir”).
That means that at the time of writing, we don’t actually know what the opening headlines were. But we might guess they were something along the lines of, “Iraq, c’est encore un grand mess, n’est-ce pas?” (literally, “That George Bush is a dork, isn’t he?”); and “L’Angleterre evidemment a une équipe de cricket qui joue comme un bunch de garçons de Nancy — pas, obvieusement, notre Nancy en Lorraine!”); though maybe not, “Et maintenant, les actualités chaud directe de Rwanda . . .”).
You see?
December 23rd, 2006 at 10:53 am
I’ll shortly be of an age at which I intend to enter a second childhood, albeit without fully emerging from my first.
To be honest, I hated that 72 hours of adult-hood.