Absolutely the Funniest Item of the Day CCXXVIII
If his radio addresses are like this, I will personally register fifteen dead people to vote for him.
NRO - Plutonic Warming, by Fred Thompson (audio here)
NASA says the Martian South Pole’s “ice cap” has been shrinking for three summers in a row. Maybe Mars got its fever from earth. If so, I guess Jupiter’s caught the same cold, because it’s warming up too, like Pluto. …
I wonder what all those planets, dwarf planets and moons in our SOLAR system have in common. Hmmmm. SOLAR system. Hmmmm. Solar? I wonder. Nah, I guess we shouldn’t even be talking about this. The science is absolutely decided. There’s a consensus.
Ask Galileo.
Curtsy: Wheat & Weeds
Which brings me to what would have been the funniest item yesterday, except Casino Royale
Opinion Journal - BY JAMES TARANTO
Al Gore’s comment, which we noted yesterday: “The planet has a fever. If your baby has a fever, you go to the doctor. If the doctor says you need to intervene here, you don’t say, ‘well, I read a science fiction novel that tells me it’s not a problem.’ ” Reader Martin Shimp notes:
Clearly Gore never cared for his children while they had a fever. Fevers can be a symptom of either a bacterial or viral issue. A doctor can attempt a solution to a bacterial issue, but not a viral one. A virus has to run its course while the body fights it–and a fever is a sign of the struggle to eliminate the virus. Let’s see a scientific consensus that the Earth’s fever is bacteria-related.
Ah, smart people. It works on so many levels.
The next couple of letters are funny too. Here’s the second one:
Reader Scott Jacobson questions Gore’s premise:
Some great news for Daddy Gore: Little baby Earth does not have a fever. It’s been awhile since Daddy Gore had a little bundle at home so maybe he has just forgotten that an infant is not considered to have a fever until her body temperature is at or above 100.4 degrees, or 1.8 degrees above normal. In the last century, little baby Earth’s temperature has only gone up “almost one degree.”
Overreacting is common among parents. I remember one morning when my first child was still an infant. Imagine my horror when I discovered that her temperature had risen to 99.5 degrees, almost a whole degree in just under 12 hours. Naturally, I immediately sat down and built a computer model, which clearly projected that by age 30, her temperature was going to be a staggering 19,710 degrees!
Thankfully, with the help of a patient wife and an impatient pediatrician, I came to realize that these fluctuations were normal, and that my baby daughter would not be going supernova by the time she reached her golden years.
It’s an interesting trend, isn’t it, that two days in a row the funniest thing I’ve seen has been to do with Global Warming?
You know when everyone starts laughing at it, that’s the end. And it’s starting to get pretty damned funny.
March 23rd, 2007 at 4:02 pm
It’s that Fred Thompson, the actor! I thought I recognised the voice, so then I looked up wiki. How about that?! It would almost redeem Hollywood if they put up yet another great President.
That’s a great point about people starting to laugh about Global Warming. When the Gorebot starts to sound like the straight man in a comedy routine you can pretty well put a fork in it.
March 23rd, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Naturally, I immediately sat down and built a computer model, which clearly projected that by age 30, her temperature was going to be a staggering 19,710 degrees!
I can’t believe he left off….
and obvious evidence in the crib that predicts sealevels to rise 479 miles in 12 years…
March 23rd, 2007 at 8:08 pm
Well, yes, but Algore has always sounded like the straight man in a routine!
March 23rd, 2007 at 10:22 pm
Yes! RC2! That’s it. I can see AlGore doing Ed McMahons old shtick.
March 23rd, 2007 at 11:25 pm
If he’s the straight man, who’s Jerry Lewis?
Clinton?
March 24th, 2007 at 4:12 am
Carville?