ninme

Are you an ocean-going vessel weighing over 40,000 tonnes who has gotten beached in New South Wales? They’ll send the special tugboat straight from Queensland to come and save you.

Are you a human weighing 350 - 1,000 lbs who has gone and had a heart attack in Edmonton? Maybe they’ll send the special ambulance straight from Calgary to come and save you.

AFP - Canada unveils heavyweight ambulance

Calgarian Chad Campbell, who weighs more than 560 pounds (250 kilograms), welcomed the new crash wagon, telling public broadcaster CBC it used to take four firemen and two paramedics to transport him to hospital.

“The standard ambulances aren’t really geared to handle situations like that,” he said.

Neither is your heart, you knucklehead.