ninme

In honour of the Oscars biting it because of the writer’s strike, I’ve arranged a series of Bob Hope quotes to keep you entertained while I’m in Canada for the next week or so. Those of you still slogging, or not baking cookies, feel free to discuss freely the events of the day in the comments.

LA Olympics:

But, thank God there wasn’t a smog problem! As many times as the band played “Oh, say, can you see,” it would have been embarrassing to hear all the athletes answer, “No!”

In honour of China too, that one.

In honour of the Oscars biting it because of the writer’s strike, I’ve arranged a series of Bob Hope quotes to keep you entertained while I’m in Canada for the next week or so. Those of you still slogging, or not baking cookies, feel free to discuss freely the events of the day in the comments.

Jimmy Hoffa goes missing:

He’s from Detroit. He could have been recalled by Ralph Nader.

In honour of the Oscars biting it because of the writer’s strike, I’ve arranged a series of Bob Hope quotes to keep you entertained while I’m in Canada for the next week or so. Those of you still slogging, or not baking cookies, feel free to discuss freely the events of the day in the comments.

Nixon’s trip to China:

The Russians blasted Nixon’s trip to China. They said the whole thing was to get Nixon reelected. I think that’s kinda silly. How many Red Chinese are registered Republicans?

In honour of the Oscars biting it because of the writer’s strike, I’ve arranged a series of Bob Hope quotes to keep you entertained while I’m in Canada for the next week or so. Those of you still slogging, or not baking cookies, feel free to discuss freely the events of the day in the comments.

Nixon/JFK debates:

Things are pretty rough when the presidency of the United States hangs on a makeup man’s sponge.

In honour of the Oscars biting it because of the writer’s strike, I’ve arranged a series of Bob Hope quotes to keep you entertained while I’m in Canada for the next week or so. Those of you still slogging, or not baking cookies, feel free to discuss freely the events of the day in the comments.

Ike’s election:

After the swearing-in ceremonies, fifty thousand Republicans paraded through the streets of Washington for three hours… Nobody could remember how to get to the Capitol!

When General Ike entered the White House, he immediately sent a message back to Republican headquarters. He wired, “Mission accomplished, our forces occupying objective, Democrats routed, no apparent resistance except for light sniper fire from the Steinway piano.”

Update, real life, real time update:

Well, I live, I really do. However, the internets are extra, extra rare in Canada this time around, so I’ll be equally rare until around New Year’s. Meanwhile, talk is all about poor Benazir Bhutto’s unfortunate end and that of the Siberian tiger and her victim in San Francisco.

In honour of the Oscars biting it because of the writer’s strike, I’ve arranged a series of Bob Hope quotes to keep you entertained while I’m in Canada for the next week or so. Those of you still slogging, or not baking cookies, feel free to discuss freely the events of the day in the comments.

Korea:

Here we are in Seoul, Korea… I never thought I’d get so far east I’d be homesick for Japan… Seoul has changed hands so many times the towels in the hotels are marked “His,” “Hers,” and “Who’s occypying us now?”

In honour of the Oscars biting it because of the writer’s strike, I’ve arranged a series of Bob Hope quotes to keep you entertained while I’m in Canada for the next week or so. Those of you still slogging, or not baking cookies, feel free to discuss freely the events of the day in the comments.

After the war:

Now that the war is over, England needs money. When Truman met Winston Churchill he said to Winston, “You look like a million dollars.” And Churchill replied, “That’ll do for a down payment.”

Merry Christmas!

In honour of the Oscars biting it because of the writer’s strike, I’ve arranged a series of Bob Hope quotes to keep you entertained while I’m in Canada for the next week or so. Those of you still slogging, or not baking cookies, feel free to discuss freely the events of the day in the comments.

Goes to a Gridiron Dinner honoring President Roosevelt:

Good evening Mr President, distinguished guests, I was late getting here because we flew through mud all the way, and then coming in from the airport I was on the bottom layer of the taxi. But I’m delighted to be here. I’ve always wanted to be invited to one of these dinners, and my invitation has been a long time in coming. I thought I had been vetoed by [Alben] Barkley [a senator who was giving the president a hard time in Congress]. Perhaps I shouldn’t mention Alben here… it’s too much like talking about Frank Sinatra to Bing Crosby.

In honour of the Oscars biting it because of the writer’s strike, I’ve arranged a series of Bob Hope quotes to keep you entertained while I’m in Canada for the next week or so. Those of you still slogging, or not baking cookies, feel free to discuss freely the events of the day in the comments.

On a USO trip to Africa:

Our troops in North Africa are something. What hardships they went through! Night after night they went without sleep… always alert… always keeping their eye on the objective… finally Frances Langford pulled her shade down.

In honour of the Oscars biting it because of the writer’s strike, I’ve arranged a series of Bob Hope quotes to keep you entertained while I’m in Canada for the next week or so. Those of you still slogging, or not baking cookies, feel free to discuss freely the events of the day in the comments.

Move to America:

I’m half British, half American. My passport has an eagle with a tea bag in its beak.

In honour of the Oscars biting it because of the writer’s strike, I’ve arranged a series of Bob Hope quotes to keep you entertained while I’m in Canada for the next week or so. Those of you still slogging, or not baking cookies, feel free to discuss freely the events of the day in the comments.

Early life:

It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time… They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.