ninme

The temperature’s rising, it isn’t surprising, she certainly can — can-cannot handle this.

Yahoo Weather - SEVERE WEATHER ALERT

AFTER A COOL AND CLOUDY SPRING IN WESTERN WASHINGTON…A DRAMATIC SHIFT TO HOT AND SUNNY WEATHER WILL TAKE PLACE STARTING THURSDAY.

THE HOTTEST LOCATIONS ON THURSDAY WILL BE ALONG THE COAST…WHERE HIGH TEMPERATURES WILL APPROACH 80 DEGREES. OVER THE INTERIOR…A COOL NORTHERLY WIND DOWN PUGET SOUND WILL HOLD TEMPERATURES BACK ONLY IN THE 70S.

ON AVERAGE…FRIDAY WILL BE THE HOTTEST DAY IN WESTERN WASHINGTON. NEARLY ALL LOWLAND LOCATIONS MORE THAN A MILE OR TWO FROM SALTWATER WILL REACH AT LEAST THE MID AND UPPER 80S…WHILE LOCATIONS FROM OLYMPIA SOUTH THROUGH LEWIS COUNTY SHOULD REACH THE LOWER 90S.

It’s been freezing since October, and it’s going to go from being maybe a scorcher at 50º to the 90s over night? It’s *never that hot here, even in July. Bastadds.

More:

THOUGH IT IS NOT FORECAST…IF SEA-TAC AIRPORT REACHES 90 DEGREES DURING THE UPCOMING HOT SPELL…IT WOULD BE THE EARLIEST 90-DEGREE DAY ON RECORD AT SEA-TAC. CURRENTLY…THE EARLIEST OCCURRENCE OF 90-DEGREE WEATHER OCCURRED ON MAY 20 1963…WHEN THE HIGH REACHED 92 DEGREES.

AFTER SUCH COOL WEATHER THIS SPRING…PEOPLE SHOULD REFRESH THEMSELVES ON BASIC HOT WEATHER TIPS. WHEN THE WEATHER WARMS UP…BE SURE TO DRINK PLENTY OF WATER…WEAR LIGHTWEIGHT AND LIGHT COLORED CLOTHING…AND BE SURE TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM SUNBURN BY WEARING SUNSCREEN AND A HAT.

WHEN THE WEATHER HEATS UP…IT MAY BE TEMPTING TO JUMP INTO AREA LAKES AND RIVERS…SOME OF WHICH WILL HAVE SLIGHTLY ELEVATED LEVELS DUE TO SNOWMELT BROUGHT ON BY THE HOT WEATHER. KEEP IN MIND THAT MOST LAKE WATER TEMPERATURES ARE STILL IN THE 40S AFTER THE COOL SPRING WEATHER. RIVERS FED WITH SNOWMELT COULD EASILY HAVE WATER TEMPERATURES IN THE 30S. DURING SPRING HEAT WAVES OF THIS MAGNITUDE…IT CAN BE AN IRONIC TWIST OF FATE FOR PEOPLE TO ESCAPE THE HEAT BY JUMPING INTO RIVER AND LAKES…ONLY TO SUFFER OR EVEN DIE FROM THE HYPOTHERMIA BROUGHT ON BY THE FRIGID WATER TEMPERATURES. DESPITE THE HOT WEATHER…PEOPLE SHOULD STILL USE COLD WATER SAFETY PRACTICES BY WEARING A WETSUIT WHEN GOING INTO SUCH COLD WATERS.

LASTLY…WITH PLENTY OF SNOW STILL LEFT IN THE MOUNTAINS…THE CURRENT RAIN SYSTEM AND THE UPCOMING HOT SPELL WILL PROVIDE SUBSTANTIALLY INCREASING AVALANCHE DANGER THIS WEEK. PLEASE REFER TO LATEST FORECASTS AND STATEMENTS FROM THE NORTHWEST WEATHER AND AVALANCHE CENTER AT WWW.NWAC.US.

Who wrote this? Someone with personality lurks at the weather service? Don’t let the local media know he has useful information to impart though or their little heads might explode.

(Sorry about the caps, but it’s just so funny in caps.)